Do not go gentle into that good night

Every attempt has been made to anonymize the identities of all parties involved.

I am actively going through the process of disolving my marriage of 25 years with my spouse. This process would normally be understandably painful, but it has been made a nightmare due to actions taken by my spouse. Further more, my spouse has made every effort to silence me, misleading our children, our family, and our friends; attempting to paint a narritve which is simply not true.

Currently all 3 of our children and our local friends have blocked my phone, though one of our children only seems to have blocked me recently as they had been responding at one point. Further more, 2 of my children have removed me as a friend on the online gaming network we all play on together.

This site was created to reclaim the voice my spouse tried to take away from me. To document events, hopefully, as unbiased as possible. And to tell my side of this story. Maybe one day my family and friends will read this and understand.

At this time I have a request in with my lawyer for my spouse to hand over copies of specific information which would disprove my spouse’s claims. Unfortunately, my lawyer feels that, given my spouse’s demonstrated behavior, they will have already deleted the information or at the very least have altered it to fit their narritive.

The blog posts contained in this site have been written to match the timeline of events as they happened starting from events on 02/10 and all events after that horrible day. I have taken the time to go over all emails, text messages and SMS messages, trying to reconstruct a complete history. This process has been incredibly painful as I find myself reliving the mental anguish with each post.

Death by a Thousand Papercuts

The Respondent published on 2023-03-07

While cleaning up around the house I realized that all of our gift cards were gone. All those little stocking stuffer VISA cards that family send you when they can’t think up anything else to send. All of them, just gone. Even the ones to me for my birthday from my mother. I just don’t understand… If that wasn’t enough for the day, my mother called, and we talked, and rehashed, and went over and discussed the same old misserable topic which was my life.

I will not go gently into that good night

The Respondent published on 2023-03-05

The unending silence is deadening. I have tried to contact our children and our friends whom live in the area, anyone. It seems my spouse has chosen to try to turn as many people against me as possible. As I stood in the silence of our home, staring at the empty walls, I broke down and cried yet again. I am brought to wonder if it will ever get easier, or if this is all there will be.

Testing the Waters

The Respondent published on 2023-03-03

I had been putting off contacting some of our mutual friends. I had no idea whom all my spouse may have talked to, or what they may of told anyone. Though past experiences with this situation lead me to expect that most people tend to pass judgement first, and care little for justice. Further more, once all the details come to light, which they always do in the end, those people whom passed judgement will find themselves in an awkward situation.

Heartbreak Arrives by Mail

The Respondent published on 2023-03-01

I had another conversation with my lawyer to go over the divorce filings. The lawyer is as confused about the filings as I am, and they are not entirely certain what my spouse is really after. According to my lawyer, there is little to no way my spouse will be awarded payment for legal fees, nor short term maintenance (alamony). Curiuously, they felt that the “long distance travel expenses” was a complete error since that is related to divorce with children and is issued as part of a parenting plan involving visitation rights.

Payday

The Respondent published on 2023-02-24

So it is finally payday. I managed to pay all my bills that were due, some of the bills were paid on newly arrived copies of my credit cards. By the time the bills, loan payments, and rent were paid I had a whole $74 remaining to hold me over until the next paycheck. My friend came over again for the weekend. It was good to talk, to tell jokes, to laugh, even if I also spent large swaths of time crying and trying in vain to understand.

Trying to Bridge the Communication Gap

The Respondent published on 2023-02-21

I tried once again to contact my children. I wrote a lengthy message which tried to outline and explain events leading up to 02/10. Tried to explain that their parent’s claims against me where a horrible distortion of facts which left out critical details. That this was a 50/50 state and that both of us would end up dividing all of this debt. I explained the discussions leading up to that day, the notes we took, the way I remember all of it happening.