Do not go gentle into that good night

Every attempt has been made to anonymize the identities of all parties involved.

I am actively going through the process of disolving my marriage of 25 years with my spouse. This process would normally be understandably painful, but it has been made a nightmare due to actions taken by my spouse. Further more, my spouse has made every effort to silence me, misleading our children, our family, and our friends; attempting to paint a narritve which is simply not true.

Currently all 3 of our children and our local friends have blocked my phone, though one of our children only seems to have blocked me recently as they had been responding at one point. Further more, 2 of my children have removed me as a friend on the online gaming network we all play on together.

This site was created to reclaim the voice my spouse tried to take away from me. To document events, hopefully, as unbiased as possible. And to tell my side of this story. Maybe one day my family and friends will read this and understand.

At this time I have a request in with my lawyer for my spouse to hand over copies of specific information which would disprove my spouse’s claims. Unfortunately, my lawyer feels that, given my spouse’s demonstrated behavior, they will have already deleted the information or at the very least have altered it to fit their narritive.

The blog posts contained in this site have been written to match the timeline of events as they happened starting from events on 02/10 and all events after that horrible day. I have taken the time to go over all emails, text messages and SMS messages, trying to reconstruct a complete history. This process has been incredibly painful as I find myself reliving the mental anguish with each post.

My Experience With Abuse

The Respondent published on 2023-03-12

I am not entirely certain how to even start this. I have talked with very few people about the abuse I experienced as a child. It wasn’t until amost 5 years ago, during a fit of horrible frustration at how I was being treated on a social media platform by someone whom I thought was my friend, that I even made any real comment that I had ever been a victim of sexual assault.

Moment of Morbid Curiosity

The Respondent published on 2023-03-11

Weekends are a pretty slow time for me now, not a lot for me to do. I haven’t the money to fix up anything around the house, though there is plenty I could do there. There isn’t anywhere to go, I don’t seem to have any friends left. It is just me, the empty walls, and our puppy. When we still had chickens here, our puppy used to run back and forth along the fence line with one of the chickens.

Reflections on Mental Health

The Respondent published on 2023-03-11

I must start by thanking everyone whom has contacted me. Being able to talk to someone who is willing to listen has been a most precious gift. I really don’t know what else to say, I am back to weeping like a babe while I write this. Everyone’s support has been just so comforting. These conversations have given me time to reflect and really try to explain some of the factors that I feel lead up to a lot of this, and I really want to try to do this with as much compassion, and as little finger-pointing as possible.

Another Payday

The Respondent published on 2023-03-10

I have been going through all the bills, cards, loans, and everything in anticipation of today. Planned every penny, know where it is all going. I have generally lumped in my food and fuel budget into the same category as, being a 100% work from home, I don’t really drive anywhere except to shop. Though one of the stores I shop at is a pretty good distance away, so I try to make certain anything I am getting there is in large enough quantities to only need to go once a month or so, and anything in large quantities needs to not expire in that same time period.

Financial Shocker Number Two

The Respondent published on 2023-03-09

I was sitting down trying to figure out how far into the hole we have gone in the last 6 months. I.e. to figure out how much we would have saved if we had been living within our means. Sort of a “I started with this much, and I didn’t spend beyond my means, and I was saving this much, so how much would I have by now”. And that sort of calculation is pretty easy when you are going into a budget.

The Website Is Online

The Respondent published on 2023-03-08

I had been doing a lot of this work in a local-only test. I finally took the time this evening to set up all the necessary tech infrastructure to spin everything up and start publishing this all publicly. For me, this is all a constant work in progress. I continue reading and rereading everything, correcting spelling, phrases, grammar, typos, dates. I add here and there and trying to keep it as honest as possible.